Heartache

jazzbet | 2019-04-24 | 0 | erwte

[Part One: It hurts] afternoon autumn sun, play the final of charm, squeeze my window.According to did not change in the warm body of cold-blooded heart, frustrated several flower petals scattered on the lazy robe, a touch of quiet purple bloom blurred face nightmare last night, I still talk to all sorts of counting slip away to Lai time.  Hin standing before the mirror, a reflected haggard face, brought back curved eyebrow, shadow purple, scattered from the shoulder with a blue-violet hair bundle of butterfly clips, bright color is not applied in the lips today, I do not know for whom red makeup, it seems the best fit my mood in the dim.  Dressed in black dress, with a white wrap on the outside.- wrapped in black and white this season, especially unobtrusive.What to ignore, either lightly skirts in the wind dancing, hair flying either raised my thoughts.  Walking in the street corner, narrowing his eyes, look up to the sky.Blossoming beautiful clouds, was batting form, soft white dancing Jiao Zi.At this time, there is a kite falling into the eyes, huge body dragging a long tail.This sudden feeling of floating high in the sky as if the kite as my love.Long line in the hand of others.When there is wind, sweet smile, wind down, eclipsed.Alone drift high in the sky, all the time in fear, fear of the man on the ground tired, tired, put aside the hands of line, they will forever lose the foundation, no direction, no life, I do not know go office.I kept thinking my tears wet eyelashes, turned away, to escape the attention of passers surprised.  The road coming to an end, and no longer see the man flying kite.Xu then it has been falling on the ground moaning, I still stubbornly looking at its direction; this time it has left many of my sight, forever being thrown its owner in a corner, my heart is so miss it traces.Nama among just a visual nostalgia has been reflected in the bottom of my heart.I wonder if there is no love, approached me, looked at the kite high in the sky, thought of his love.At this time, the wind, again, ruffled shadow of the tree, whisk mess my mind.Nightlife Network [Part II: It hurts] is what hurts?There are some things that we clearly know is wrong, they can go to insist, as reconciled; some people, we know that love is also going to give up, because no end; sometimes, we clearly know that no road, still first line, as used to it.  That cast their eyes can not see the world; that covered his ears, you can not hear all of the trouble; that the footsteps stopped, the heart can no longer travel; think I need love, just a embrace.  Those who have committed mistakes, some because of too late, some because of deliberately avoid, more often at a loss to stand to one side.We are so wrong again and again, but never know and learn from it, to do some introspection.  You do not know what I was thinking of you, because you do not love me, I knew you did not want me, still love you, because I was too stupid.Maybe sometimes, to avoid what is not because of fear to face, but waiting for what.  Road is wrong, they can go to insist, as reconciled; some people, we know that love is.  The sky is no trace of wings, but the birds have flown; heart is not a knife and cut off, but the pain was so clear.The chest in the softest place, was hurt love wounds, than those that physically hurts more sharp, and only time can heal.  Many people, because of loneliness and indulgence of one person, but more because of indulgence of a man, and lonely life.We can love each other, but not destined to spend.I did not love you enough, but I’m not sure, this love, is not the most correct.  If betrayal is a kind of courage, then betray you accept the need for a greater courage.The former only have enough courage you can, or maybe just on impulse, while the latter test is the degree of tolerance, not the impulse that simple need only time.  Life can not be used to prove that love, as we can not prove that they can no longer believe in love.In this city, just as Rolex is material luxury, love is a spiritual luxury.But life extremely vulnerable, there is no way to afford so many luxury.  The biggest difficulty is to know themselves, the easiest is to know yourself.In many cases, we recognize so clearly, just because we put ourselves in a wrong place, he gave himself an illusion.So, not afraid of bumpy road ahead, I’m afraid from the start in the wrong direction.  Living in a city, or love a person, or to do something, a long time, will feel tired, there will be the impulse to want to escape.May not be tired of this city, I love the people, adhere to something, but can not give yourself the courage to persevere.  How many times and how many times, memories to draw a circle of life, and we turn in place numerous times, unable to escape.Always I want to return to the original place of strangers, if we can once again the choice, I thought I could love more pure.  If you knew the outcome of this story, you say it, or choose, or pretended not to know, Wan not hesitantly.Sometimes the damage left to others, preferred to remain silent than to come clean to hurt.  I do not feel bad, sad, only you can feel pain, others simply indifferent!  [Part Three: It hurts] Maybe I was waiting, waiting for you to give me a miracle, I let a long-awaited miracle, but I know that this is just a luxury, a luxury no realistic.I can not desire too much, but I can sit quietly, like this before, quietly think you, let Resentment sinking heart as Dolan sad music waft.Buddha said: Past five hundred times Looking back, only in exchange for life pass, if you can, I would like the most crazy is growing on yellow roses in full bloom with beautiful, for your moment Looking back, I would like to use Looking back in exchange for ten thousand times you encounter, so sinking millennium dream lotus heart, quietly think you lonely corner.  Dear I think you, some people are destined to wait for someone else, some people are destined to wait, I hid in a deserted corner, I think you can not touch the heartache.”I hid in a deserted corner, in addition to miss what else can I do, nobody understands me feel sad, fall in love with you is my fault, tears unconsciously fall, I can not forget you, miss arrived but your indifference.”Perhaps the song that best express my feelings at the moment, I never thought there is such a result, we are destined to pass this way, miss a person’s taste can not express in words, the kind of heartache taste is that others can not understand.I am most afraid of most frustrating thing is to wait, helpless and hopeless wait, but this is not the most bitter of the most intolerable, the saddest thing is that I still can not determine that he is not giving up the wait, is not it also worth the wait hopeless.  I do not always understand why women suffer more pain than men emotionally.I do not always understand why the silly woman, you will never understand my mind I feel like I’ll never guess what you want to do the same.I did not expect this so soon be helpless mood strike suffered a crushing defeat.I feel so ridiculous, too silly, but I really do not want to give up, really do not want to leave, because there are accustomed to snowy night in the company of happy days, used to accompany the music scene has sent a snowy night, used the text reads thoughts silent thoughts snowy night, accustomed holds the gills slumped front of the computer every now and then let your thoughts.I know that, although they have been deeply hurt, but they also deeply loved, and feel the love of really memorable, really memorable, yes ah, people in my entire life can have a few emotional moment!But also feeling a few heartbeats!There have been no longer can not forget that the heart’s desire, can not help but kind of impulse, tried to grab the kind of never give up in the palm of error.Who are vulnerable, hurt and injured at the same time, there is not too much to have a lot of frustration, heartache think you have become accustomed to!  Always used to put yourself in your thoughts in, with that hint of sadness, a touch of lingering and would like to let their feelings get relief, would like to let the warm winter sun drown their grief and loneliness, warm that pain has long been the heart, but the memory of those who have, would not withdraw from their own world, but even more deeply and wake me nostalgic sadness to you, but still subconsciously telling myself, do not let ourselves addicted to it, in this state of mind in just to feel more pain, perhaps in the coming days, I will still be a long time wandering in this state of mind in.Fall in love with a man not my fault, I hope you can understand my feelings, I’m used to share that love feeling deeply buried in my heart!!!How many sleepless nights, those who want to water your past, however, like to the tumultuous, too suffocating unable to move, and then raging torrent from the eyes.Because when swamped deeply I understand their feelings, to know how hard it wants to withdraw!Because the heart remain stubbornly in place a long time refused to leave.Tired, I’m really tired!Hurts, really hurts my heart!Silly, really silly!Why hurt me, why do this to me, how would I believe you, how you are going to love, knowing that you have is what kind of people, but also silly to heart to you, silly hope that you will not want me, It will be left for me, as I will.Once the flow of tears for love, you may have already dried up, leaving only a broken road deep and shallow marks.Once I thought I could take you sealed up, in order to forget the pain can be swept into the city tonight and returning to the pain, sour, astringent.I am silly, so stupid in the hands of the keyboard cry for me, it was the call of heartache.However, you never see, never hear, never feel. You dreamed last night.Still fall in love with a lonely single lonely you are, the kind of eyes as bleak.Let me make me feel bad heartbreak. Go, go, I know that you will not leave me, perhaps in the near future I can forget you forget you are good to me for my bad, we forget the sweet days together, forget all about you all in all, then good live my life, do not shed tears for you, do not you sad, though the heart is still in pain at the time of this writing, the tears still fall.I gave a friend said I no longer write articles sad, because I found a reason not to write articles sad.Why I brought up the pen?Perhaps in the continuation of a beautiful dream, perhaps to feel the love, maybe, maybe not maybe have.[Part Four:] hurts my heart hurts, I told myself I really really love you, heart hurts, though I say to you I give up, but now I realize I can not do.I was really in love with you, but are unable to extricate themselves.  Face reality, I have to let go, I had to love Libra is inclined toward the people around him.Reality so that I can cheat on their feelings, but never cheating on his wife have the truth.I did not get rid of his conscience.Room since God already arranged the order of our appearance, I have no choice.I can not let people come first heartbreak, and my conscience will languish, so I can only make myself alone bear this heart pain.I believe that this decision will make at least two people to get care solution.  That can happen then, only one person I take it all.Crossings cost only hurt myself.It hurts so I really tasted the taste of love.  Everything is the time to say goodbye, let you make my heart forever beloved brother bar.In fact, I really do not want to lose this feeling, as long as I can feel your presence I have met.You do not have any love in return.As long as you are happy I am happy.You will remember that I love you forever hidden in my heart, you will always be in my heart that one of the most important.  [Part Five: It hurts] feel really sick, could not sleep every night, even take a nap was awakened nightmare, and I naturally accustomed to this way of life.Low back pain and backache phenomenon more and more frequent, always lingering fear that somehow, is not afraid of death!But a sense of sadness involved with my.Now finally understand what loneliness is, at the moment I do not crave the sympathy of others, because I already know what the final result is.Lonely years has not one or two days, whenever the dead of night recall for the benefit of family and friends who have a one renegade me, do not love himself of tears.Is this what you called it reality?Is it really wrong I really do, failure emotional punishment should be so right, maybe I’m a loser, loser completely, really from the day I can remember has been to be looked down upon my heart has always been a one-man show in the world, but also plays the role of a loser, no one wants to come into my world and no one wants to get to know my life would be like opening a little joke with me.  Why such a fate for me unfair?Thought I could get back my happiness, God once again very funny joke with my life too many small episode let me once again confused, I can not tell it all, my world becomes increasingly the more small.Unsatisfactory work, addicted to the feelings of tension on the economy so I quickly stifled, very funny, really funny, I was wrong, wrong, very naive, no matter what I may really wrong.I was abandoned.At least I think so, I do not belong to this world, the trauma may be hard to heal.Loneliness has been with me, maybe it will go on like this.  Now I have Xinrusihui, although I still do not care installed in front of people, but when a person will be heartbroken, tears, is not himself too fragile?Physical discomfort makes me even more lost the meaning of life.Very worried about the right lower quadrant pain, there are already a few days, alas, what bad people bad times will come, I hope not appendicitis.  [Chapter six: It hurts the heart] Why so painful, waves of pain, very sad, never feeling quietly said to myself again and again, do not want, do not love, and not to hurt again.Afford to, you do not play, play with fire will eventually self-immolation.There are some things, easier said than done really hard.  Why heart will bleed, the original is so fragile that heart down, you gently and with no malicious language, they can hurt so deep.Say to yourself, I do not mind, and smiled all right.  I was careful to communicate your feelings in a silent world, you know me, I know you are so wonderful, so I am full of joy, once the heart, and now recall is still so people yearn.  Perhaps you have felt, I was not happy, because many times we want to have is the same, we have a lot in common, we will hurt.  Perhaps you will think I was deliberately provocative, and very easy to get angry.In fact, I tell you, it is because I care about you, a man not related to me, I would not mess with angry.I cherish each other’s feelings that we.  [Chapter Seven: It hurts] night, sleep has been repeatedly Zhanzhuan.  Because the sad feeling has not subsided.I think a lot of night slowly, keeping everything had wanted to, but I still want to write in words.Because I only write about it in my heart to get just a faint calm.  Recall that last night scenes, I feel sad bleeding.I slowly recalled feeling your shadow is so vague, I desperately wanted to think of something, but found only a minimal amount.  Can only remember the first meeting of the scene, we are so admire each other.Needless to say to each other what seems to be able to pay attention to each other’s heart.  I remember you asked me QQ night.When you ask me how you like impression, I straightforward spoken my own voice.  You’re so people love and affection, so petite, so people feel the need to care.  Just remember, the first time to accompany you on duty.  Just remember that first trip.[Some do not write it, and save you and me ugly] when I struggled to make these, I just have an urge.Just send a text message want to forget quickly, quickly freed.  Because I really can not bear the pain of suffering.[Very hard to find that they have lost in memories] broke up so long, I have been let go, he has been living in the memories.Look thou in the loved each other once kindness help me please?  Please tell the malicious words.So that I increasingly heavy heart to get relief.To tell you: We have been impossible on the line.Many thanks!  Hair after I took a deep breath.When I received your message, my heart completely relaxed.I finally do not fulfill their promises.Because waiting for a person for a year is a very hard thing, not to mention I’ve been waiting three years do not want to wait any longer.[Have been deeply hurt a girl, just for one, just want to ease my guilt, I fulfilled his promise to her: I will not fall in love three years] but waiting for me invigorated but when you send me of a text message: Are you free this evening it?I now feel very bad I could take you to dinner?  I was silent for a.I repeatedly told myself to calm, repeatedly warned you yourself have been impossible.[That’s because I know you, because you will not come around again] but my mind has been unclear, when my heart has been thinking, thinking that even if only a glimmer of hope for the poor I would also like to grasp, because of the loss of already too much, I do not want the slightest hope away from me again.  I said nothing, gave the squad picked up the phone call in the past: I do not go to work today, even if I’m the absenteeism, it does not matter.[I was in Chi Town] I was impatient to see you, you know?I would like to know what to give up hope or wish.[It was already 5:30 and 6:30, but you want to see me.  If I want the car to go home will be 6:00] I was desperate, directly call a taxi to go home.Because I need to be prepared, you need to see a new me.  Changing clothes to go home to take a bath, wash your hair.Then I saved a little bit of time.  I have not forgotten my promise, and I promised to send you a bouquet of roses on Valentine’s Day next year; I promised to invite you to eat pizza together; I promise to give you a lifetime of happiness [Although it has been impossible but I have I remember] so I went to buy flowers with a little bit of time, for fear of wasting time I run into street culture, finally I found a flower shop.But the boss said I need to purchase, I can not only make money but also added a number of shorter time.[Because I never want to make you wait, because I know the taste of others] finally late.When I Jichong ride down to find you, but you still so let me down.[I had known, I hope the greater the disappointment greater] your cold face told me that what is given up.You cold, then tell me what is the broken heart.[In fact, already knew it would be but it was a glimmer of hope then directed from] the flower store to the counter, I still have to pretend a very happy look, ask if you want to eat.At the same time you propose to invite you to eat pizza.[Then the car had to memorize the lines, but it would not come in front of your word, your face makes me incoherent]’ll walk in that way we have to go before.[Or that way, or that scene, or do you go in front of me with your left and right] when you stopped in front of a restaurant said to eat, I’m happy.[Because want to say, may have the opportunity to say, to have the opportunity to stop and really rare] do together to eat, I can not remember how many times, how many times.[Still very accustomed to watching you eat, watching you eat like that.Cute] finally have the chance to say what you want to say, really happy inside.[But you are the first to say I can not do anything] I do not know you have not been hurt, you know the feeling of heartache?[Difficult subject, just like your heart has been bleeding, there are no words to describe] you open your boyfriend how good for you, how rich his family closed.  Let my heart a battle off one thousand.[Find me doing?Oh.I gradually came to understand] You say you’re sad, you say your boyfriend, arguing with you; you say he does not listen to you, you said happened between you and a lot of unpleasant.To be honest, I’m not a man.[If yes, walked away] but I think I made a man the impossible![Because once someone talk to me, talk to you meet to keep demeanor, I remember.] When I listened to you but have to say that while the advice you how do you know I feel it?[Hurt, you know?Heart has been bleeding, when I could not eat a meal.To be honest I have the heart to die] two and a half hours, I do not think in my lifetime longer than two and a half hours of time.[Longer scares me, afraid I still can not quite live] I tried very hard to do this, maybe you do not know, you do not know when you love a person reported a just a faint hope of the poor to come to you these are in any mood to hear.Maybe you do not understand, do not understand what to do and should not do when dealing with others.[In order to alleviate their inner pain, I put my lips are bitten you know?Since then a big pain did not hurt badly, and then a big pain can compare heartache] to accompany you to dinner one night, to hear you say you are with your boyfriend’s story now; go to the mall to take something with you; you buy cake.[When will the end ah?I do not feel good.Perhaps self-inflicted, but a kind of speechless feeling drives me.] Can hear you now boyfriend Hello, I am very pleased, very happy for you, you have been told you have to pay a little more for him.[But I do?Who can comfort me heartache pain?Who can understand?Fortunately, I can still hear my friend say they want to say, let me kind of a night of living death heart please get a little bit of comfort.Do not demand a lot, it was enough!I am very grateful to my friend Wu Di, there are really very happy with you.] A night time is very short, but in the two hours that I was actually so long?Zhongyu Ao later, glad I’m still alive.[Not for himself, but for his family, because can not remember why but alive] how tomorrow?I do not know, the mood is still bad, but to try to live on the face, the face of a lot, even though you do not want.[Part Eight: It hurts] has been Cold War days, I am unable to find that the feelings between us gradually pulled far, far away.  Late at night, the room was dark.Outside lights shone into glimmer.Sprinkle on my face full of tears, I finally could not stop the tears streaming down.  Damn tears, so why would not live up to expectations, in fact, I do not want to cry, but even I can not control.The more the more sad cry, at this moment who can understand my feelings.  Slowly I found that tears have soaked pillow.And he slept and slept.He did not know I cried, I sobbed sad.He finally heard, she asked a confused ‘Why are you ah’ and then fell asleep.I’m really sad, is this our happy marriage?  The most painful thing was not, sad thing, but experiencing grief, next to a man indifferent to you.It will be recalled that night he said, I am not the most important in his life, it is important to his mother, if I dare to disrespect his mother he would hand to me.Yes, your mother really important, my dear, but you have not thought about it I?In your heart, I am in the end what counted?Am I not important?I promise to do is fake it?  After this time, our love light.Maybe love really is shelf life, it is possible shelf life is coming to our bar.But I will try my best to save the marriage, because we have a lovely girl, it is the crystallization of our love!I ponder for a long time, this may also be a fight, so we have been trying to run completely faded love, God, I can not regret it, this is my way of their choice, whether it is happiness or pain, I can not regret it, I can not let the family worry.Really, can not repine, Blame yourself too easily believe him, so small to get married, for the vision of happiness too, let themselves bear the pain.Maybe this is what I do from now roost!  He later said that no matter what I have, which means it should be me and do not control him, but you know, on this earth no matter who is missing, it will still be transferred.Let it all go with the flow!

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